Tonight every things coming out..I can't even describe it. I feel so worthless, like I'm not even worth taking the risk for. I try and I try and I try. I go through all lengths and this is what I get back.

But you've been wanting to leave since day one. I hate everything. I hate you. I hate myself. I feel so fat and ugly. I feel like shit.

Why couldn't you have just loved me for me. Take me for who I am. I feel like I'm such a horrible person. Why couldn't you have just loved me. Didn't you know that I would've been the last person to hurt you. Why couldn't you have seen all of that?

And why couldn't you just have been straight forward with me. Telling me that you loved me as a friend but getting jealous over other guys at the same time?

What am I? Just someone who you can toy around with? I don't think you even once considered how I might be feeling.
I loved you. I truly did. You weren't exactly faithful with me. You can deny all you want but you know the truth yourself.

I give and I give and I give. I put in so much effort after all those times that you just toss me aside. Guess I was really that easy to let go.

I let you and I put in every bit to make things work out. I never gave up on you. I refused to see the bad on you. And I stood by you. I tried being a true friend to you in every way. That kind of loyalty is what you don't see every day.

I got jealous more times than I count but how can I not. You had me and I wanted you. You were a great mystery to me and I just wanted to figure you out. You were always a private person and I just wanted you to let me in.

Knowing how close you and other people were really got to me. You were the only person who got to know me really well and I wanted that in return. I wanted to tell you secrets and vice versa.

I wanted you to trust me.

I wanted too much and you wanted too little. I gave it my all. And in the end I lost.

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