never. in my whole entire. fucking life. have i hurt this much. never in my life has anyone hurt me this much.

i gave you my love. i loved you with all that i was capable of. i loved you with every fiber of my being.

i spend so much effort and energy. how can someone do this to me? how can someone break me down this bad.

c told me he never got over me today. he told me he's been in love with me for three years. and has been waiting here for me. he asked me to give him a chance.

i'm gonna give him one. i just want to be loved and held and cared for. i feel so ...damaged. and i'm so lonely.

i hurt so much. and why not. here's this guy whose telling me he won't ever hurt me and that he loves me. why not.

why the fuck not. after all , he is not going to "sort" me away. like i'm some piece of trash. and i know he won't ignore me when i'm begging him or crying to him.

he won't ignore me. and that's the worst feeling in the world.

so why the fuck not. fuck this crying. fuck it. i'm done. with everything. no more. why should i even care. if he doesn't.

i'm going to move forward and move on. i'm tired of hurting.. and this guy wants to make it all go away.

so why not.