4:40 am ;

You were the exact type of boy that everyone warned me about..

If I don't put this down right now, I don't think I can ever again explain these feelings..

So it's 4:35am.. You said we were going to watch that movie tonight. You said you were going to tell me more bedtime stories tonight. And you said you would be here with me when I fell asleep tonight.

Those things didn't happen because you are with her. I just don't understand any of it, I wish I did though. Maybe then, the pain and anguish that I'm feeling now would go away.

Can you please explain to me why you had to come over and talk to me that day. You were with her back then, and I knew that. I didn't take it to heart, but as the days passed by and as we grew closer, I became to really fall for you.

I really don't want to, but how can I help it? You said all the right things and you made all my days go by worth while.

But then there is her.. I know you two are extremely close and I can never be a replacement of her and nor do I want to. I don't know how you two feel about each other but I know that you two have a deep connection and will always be.

I just wish I knew and I wish you would explain it to me. I wish you can just tell me the truth sometimes. And I don't like being lied to like I am right now.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I won't cry. Not for you.