it's hard.

You asked for affection and I guess I never really thought about it but somewhere along the line, your just a boy looking to be loved.

I hold myself back.. keeping things to myself and away from you because to be completely honest, I'm so scared to put my whole heart out there. Do you know that there are so many things that I want to tell, especially how you made me feel this past month.

But I'm so fucking scared and I hate feeling this way. I know I shouldn't and I want to stop so badly but it's hard because my mind keeps drifting there. You've made me so happy this past month and its been amazing spending all these time with you. I don't think I've ever felt like this before and that's scary for me to deal with.

Writing this makes me feel better because I know that there might be a possibility you will read this and understand what's going on.

I'm sorry I hestiated this morning when you asked me that question .. to be honest I was expecting it but when the moment came I froze up. I don't know why that happened and I'm so sorry that put you off.

In the end, I'm really happy that we're officially a couple now. I know that there will be a lot of bumpy roads ahead, but I hope we can make it through them. I hope that this will be a long lasting relationship and no matter what I think I'll always love you.

You'll always have a special place in my heart.

PS: I promise that I will be a good girlfriend and I'll try very hard to open up myself to you, showing you all the love and affection that you deserve.