for some reason i feel content. i feel okay and i think i finally get it now. he has always loved her. i knew that, but i just didn't want to accpet it.

and i'm just tired of everything. arguments, fights, assumpitions, acusations. i'm worn out and so damn tired. i've done a lot. and at the end of the day, he still wants to leave.. then that's on him.

but at least i tried. and yes, i know i shouldn't have lied to him but real people learn to forgive and they don't just give up someone they love.

and as for me? i think i'm going to be okay. like i said, i'm content because i'm finally accepting the fact that he never truly loved me. that in his heart there will be this other girl and he will always want her and put her in first place.

and you know what? i'm okay with that.

besides i need to focus more on school and the upcoming 16 months will be very crucial for me. and i think that it's time for me to grow up.

i cherish every experience i get and i'm going to be grateful for all the oppurtiunties and new windows that's going to be coming my way.

and as for love and relationships? i'm not going to settle anymore. cause i deserve everything and more. to love and be loved right? and if the right guy comes along, then i'm gonna go for it. i'm kind of excited to meet new guys and stuff. besides there hasn't been a guy yet that i wanted, i haven't had.

from now on, i'm living my life to the fullest and no one's going to stop me.