i can't sleep tonight & the memories won't leave me alone.

My eyes hurt and my body is tired but I can't sleep cause these memories just keeps coming back to me.

Today FiFi wouldn't stop barking at the vistors and finally I couldn't take anymore of his shrill barks, so I took him into my room and decided to put the shock collar on him. He's terrified of that thing, I knew that, but I was still angry at him because he just wouldn't behave himself.

So I sat him down on my lap and tied on the shock collar and that's when I saw it. I know he's just a dog and everything, but he has feelings too. He had the saddest eyes and for the first time in my life, I finally understood the meaning of "eyes are the window to someone's soul" or however the quote may go.

I broke down right there.

What I'm trying to say is that, you told me you loved me and I believed you. So how can you bare putting me through so much pain and hurt? You know what your actions and words do to me and it really makes me question if you really loved me at all to begin with.

But I don't think that even matters anymore cause you moved and here I am still pinning after you. I'm wishing for things that will never again be true. It's hopeless when it comes to you and me.

So tell me, how do I let go of you cause that's really hard for me to do.