^___________^

I HATE THAT FUCKING FACE.

kk. i need to buy ;
vera wang - princess. had that for two years - -" fav<33 & now it's about to be used up.
philosophy & clinque ..
need to go sephora.

tomorrow = new years eve...have to help..dad cook..invited so much ppl over.. sigh.
there is still so much snow outside..- -" need to stop waking up so late everyday!!!
& new years - going to the cityy. yay

shopping makes me happy~~~~~~

damn. even now.. it's like i can't help but feel so damn insecure about shit. it's like...UGH idk?!?!#@@~

already 10...want to go out .. but my dad wont let me.. or drive me..cus of the snow - -" & my ankle.. is still brusied.. but it doesn't hurt anymore.. nah that much. ughfk.

dnt wanna stay home everyday..going crazy..so bored!!! only 2 more days of 2010 left............time fly by so fast..

ok..gonna go play with xx~~

so im here watching hot tub time machine and im about to fall asleep but my mind is elsewhere and all i can say is.. he makes me smile .. a lot (: & im kind of.. really happy.

haha. hope he is too.

don't make plans with me if you're just gonna fuck cancel. ugh. this is like wut? the 54646465456th time?

fk that shit.

doesn't feel like xmas.
dad went to work again - -" cus he said.. his workers work on xmas..so hes gonna go with them..
& this year we didn't even go to ai yi's to celebrate & shit. ohwells.

baking cookies & on qq talking to xiangxiang & ting ~ they wanna go see the big xmas tree , but these days i feel lazy. & this cold weather - -"

oh well, at least i can wear my new uggs.

Its christmas & I wanna be w/ him..but family comes first & I'm sleepy..
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i've had enough. everyday you fucking bring me down; when i've done NOTHING to you. i don't lie or go talk to other guys behind your back. & you just LEAVELEAVELEAVE.

you wanna go? go ahead. see if i fucking care, but i'm just saying this now. I'M DONE. & i am NEVER going to forgive you for bring me down this low.

i've had enough of dealing with you and your damn insecurities and your damn assumptions. even after one fucking year, you still can't see that I'M JESSEY. i'm not like your other fucking exes. but you know what?

i don't fucking care. GOODBYE.

i remember there would be times when i would hang up on your or said "bye" you'd come calling me back right away and getting me to talk to you..

but now it's like -
"kbye"
"cya"

...

i miss being chased after... & knowing that you cared.. but things change & you don't anymore..

i like how i'm at the supermarket waiting in line to pay for my cookie dough & these two ladies behind me starts talking in shanghainese about my lv speedy 35, saying how it looks but it's fake & i turn around and and said "thanks, but it's real. i got it for 650$" in shanghainese.

LOL - -" & they get mad embarrassed and awkward, telling me how i look like "wai gou ren"

oh well. baking cookies now & i like how my whole apartment smells like it. (: nothing beats milk & cookies on a cold ass day.

Today gonna be = my day~ not gonna take anyone drama or bs.

Buy;
-babydoll peacoat
-thick leggings
-a really long scarf so I can warp around a lot.
-boots w/ heel
-new pair of uggs; reg in chocolate
-clinque exfo.
-some scrubs

Babydoll peacoat + leggings + heeled booties = lovelove. (:

&get nails done. Need to take off my nails..been on for so long - -" feel mad uncomfortable now~ sigh.

~maybe UFO tonight.
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it's getting close to that one year mark and yeah, we're not even together anymore, but i still have that jittery feeling.

i guess it's cause i don't talk to any of my ex-boyfriends and none of them lasted a year. the longest was probably six months and that was it.

i don't know. i'm scared for it to come cause, it doesn't even feel like a year, but also cause we're just always stuck here. i mean one whole year passed by and we're just still like this. no progress. no nothing.

i guess what i'm trying to say is, i don't want to be stuck. i want to go somewhere.. but it's not happening. not even after a year....

and he's waiting for her and i'm waiting for him. maybe it's time i stop waiting because it's been so long.. and give another boy a chance.

but my heart wants more..so much more.. and i don't think he will ever give me that.

todayyy went to staples when i was walking fifi &
bangbang; you look skinner, did you go on a eating binge.
- -" UH NO?? sighhh~ why so hard to believe i do kickboxing..

&when i was walking home some guy followed me ..
sighh.. why this always happen to me - -"
"baby you look so pretty. can i get ur number? do you want to come over? you like me? want to be my girlfriend? want to come over to my place & show me some love? i wanna hear you talk more..you have nice lips.."
OMG@@@@@@@@@@@@ - -"

well ~ going to go read & fall asleep..
&really in love with my hair nowww..everyone say i look so much younger ..
should've dyed it sooner~~ oh wutever.

"why is ur number blocked?"
"cus i like to stalk people"
"oh you a creeper huh"

LOL fking bobo<3 ahahahaha. xmas shopping time@@!!~ waiting for him to pick me up & go RF. ^^

Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.. in the beginning you have more friends than you can count with your fingers. In the end you can barely count with one hand how many real ones are left.

xiangxaing made me 吃粥, lols she made~.. we watch pps & play chinese wow
哈哈 妹妹 take good care of me

haha~她在看shhh的東西..i look so sad.. but 喜欢這張的feel~~
..& dunno why all pics on my phone come out black and white..
我累死了..回家了..dad come pick me upp.. & go sleep
安安~

tonight.. i'm never forgiving you for.

bubble baths are nice (: watching despicable me with bobo on AIM, lols we're so retarted. we decided to watch the same movie & press play at the same time, lolol

& talking to bb on qq, she's finally coming back tomorrow. yayy ^^

10 more days until christmas.. this year all i want or christmas is xingfu《3；happiness.
& maybe some cute rilakkuma stuffs<3 ahahaha.

& wtf O_O when you call my phone now.. it plays music?!!?!?!?!? WUTTTTTTTTTTTT ugh

lols @ my dad - -" he said from now i can't come home later than 9.. cus lately i've been staying out late even tho i BARELY stay out so late. last time was weeks ago - -" i dont rmbr.

but lols DADDDDDDDD AWWWWWWWWWWWWW<3

okk SLEEP NOW with my CUTE RILAKKUMA BLANKET BOUGHT TODAY

im gonna go sleep. & forget about everything. can't fking believe i'm so fking stupid. just regret everything so much.

dont even want to look at that stupid fking penguin. gonna go give to junies new dog tmr to play with & trade watch with bobo for his keroppi. fk it. i dont fking care anymore.

had enough of this shit. this isnt love. this is... just all games. tired of this shit. just so damn tired of everything.

@starbucks..so tired & sleepy :[ .... - -" bought cute sparkly panties from PINK<3 so cuteahaha. & some other shit & SECRET for himmm. So tired tho...today was prob coldest day of the year..&walked so much.. But I wanna spend more time w/ jen lols. Barely get to see her..sighs.

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“There’s an old proverb that says you can’t choose your family. You take what the fates hand you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. Then there’s the school of thought that says the family you’re born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, and clothe you, and take care of you, until you’re ready to go out into the world and find your tribe.”

i like you. i love you. i guess after all the shit we've been through it's hard not to love you. but that's not the point. the thing is, i have this fluttery iffy feeling and for some reason i just can't shake it off. i guess it cause i just don't know exactly what it is that you feel for me. honestly i don't think you even know yourself and that just kind of throws me off balance and so here i am left with this feeling that i can't shake off.

:/ i wish i didn't think soo much about it but i can't help it. i'm a girl and i just want to be sure on where we stand. after all .. you didn't want me in your life just a few days ago and now we're... this. i honestly don't know but i just don't want any mixed signals and i don't want to be thinking we're actually going to go somewhere, when we're not.

but most of all i just dont want to give my whole heart out and end up getting hurt again. i don't want to be left again.. by you. sigh.. i don't know why but it's always on my mind and the more i think about it, the more i want to cry.

uhoh.. in deepshit.. lost my moms diamond ring - -" FK!! UGHH

Windy , rainy & cold.

todays just one of those days where i want to cuddle up with someone & watch movies all day long. ionooo. wish bb would hurry up & come back from dc already. sighh! cus watching movies by myself is not the same & this stupid weather makes me want to cuddle!

guess im not gonna go buy stuff today -- gonna go with jen tomorrow. oh wells.

Miss him...sigh so sleepy. Think gonna go shwr & sleep..too tired to wait :[ watching drama all day..wish someone would take care of me when I'm sick like the guy in drama..hahahaha, if only if only.

iono feeeeeling wahhhhhhhhh.
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UGH. I HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE MAKES PLANS WITH ME & THEN CANCELS CUS THEY WANNA DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH SOMEONE ELSE!?!

LIKE DSKAJFDLSKJFDLSKAJFDSKJ
DUDEE, THIS ISN'T EVEN THE FIRST TIME. WHICH PISSES ME OFF EVEN MORE. - -"

Ugh whatever.

tomorrow want to;
-go st. marks jap store & buy rilakkuma stuff<3
-buy keroppi watch - -" NOT WAITING.

TODAY SUCKS. I JUST WANT TO CRY. HOW COME I FEEL SO SAD FOR NO REASON?!

ASDFSAFDSAFADSPIOAUDSJFJDSJFSALJFDSLJFSDALKFDJSLFSJDFKJSDALKJ
KSFJKAFJAFJDSAJLKSDJFDSKAFKSDLKF.

-im thinking too much
-i kind of just dont know

so im gonna go sleep. & not think. & rest my brain. okay. sounds good. but its hard to fall asleep when ur stomach feels like its all tied up in knots :[

Girls finger each other, they scissor, as in they put their vajay on vajay, and they eat each other out.

Damnnnnn, that's sexy.

Hehehe, I love my bb so much<33, treated me to inspa for the day. Stayed there for a few hrs & we even played mj! (:

@red mango now waiting for jen&xxbb; she went home to change x_X & jen just got back to ny a few hrs ago, lols. i wanna be the first person to see her ;D & for her to meet xx ..even tho she hates fobs but they're my closest gfs :[

a day at the spa + red mango + sentosa; fav restaurant = my therapy session. <3
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In car now & he's driving me home..I'm too tired to talk & I'm just so sleepy. But I had so much fun with him today (:

Ice skating at rockefeller center & it started to snow..

Him: blah blah its so cold..blahblah even my nose is cold.
Me: muahh..& i kissed his nose..

Lol....can't remember the last time I was so bold..lol but he's so cute..& smell so good & make me all giggly.

(: maybe this new yrs eve..I'll have someone to kiss at midnight<3
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i like how junie webcams me & im sitting there in my bra & panties cus i just got out of the shower, & i accpets. haha.

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS TURBO FIRE.

Haha, it's like 400$ for the two packages & i know my dad won't be happy to get it for me. reminds me of last night & how he freaked out cus the three of us fell asleep on my bed. haha me , xiangxiang & dy.

& want to go dye my hair.. ehh but so lazy & my hair already looks so horrible, lolll - -" ughh sigh lifeeeeeee ~~

in car now.. going to college point.. maybe movie. i wanna watch morning glory. today is lazy day.. was at korean bbq with "big eyes" & bb. they both about to pass out cus they so full, loll. - -" im so sick of it tho. kbbq every weekend is nah good..i feel so lazyy.. sighh.

oh well.. happy i got my phone fixed today.. & winter break in two days. one more exam left.. have to study song & make notecards.. ehh.. thought jen was coming back this weekend, but she will be back next. so excited to see her.

feeling sleepy... last night got home at 1ish & just fell asleep. lately i sleep so early, but im happy. & after making those promises with gg & bobo. i feel so much happier. not settle for anything & to stop checking up on him&her.

ughh.. iono :[ feel so ....ehh

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regret everythin i said.. regret ever openin my heart to someone like him. before i thought i could tell him everythin but now i jus dnt even want to..

nah gonna be the girl whose jus gonna sit at home & mope around anymore..

jb bro picking me up to go ceo & tiffany prob gonna sleep over tonight since my mom is gone & tomorrow gonna go inspa in the mornin & clubbin a night w/ the gfs since last week couldnt go cus of mom.

im ready to have some funnnnnnnnnnn.

LOL love my daddddd.

ME: i'm so hungryyy - -" didnt eat all day & theres no food & mom has a guest over..
ME: can you bring me some fooood?
HIM:... i'm working ...
ME: wahhhhh im so hungry
HIM: wut do you want to eat? chicken?
ME: yessssss

ahahaha. & mom leaves tomorrow! & shes going back to shanghai again in jan... ugh - -: she never takes me ... sigh..

at QC todayyyyyyy ..ugh god sighhh hate my hair - -"...

this morning woke up to see that my blackberry broke.......ughhhhh. fml. 2nd time, & iono wut to do..stuck using moms phone AGAIN -.-..

just got home now.. tonight .. can go CEO or linden..
CEO = drama
linden = get high
ugh, no ty - -"

好无聊今天..

it sucks that today the weather is nice & i have to study - -" my first exam is on friday.. ugh stupid medterm. at least jen is coming back this weekend, yay ^^ !!

so excited to see her. yessssss ! can't wait till my break starts. last day of class = dec 10 but the the last day of my exams are the 8th.

only thing i hate is that ny so boring.. -.- , wish i can go somewhere.. mom is leaving for her 8 day cruise in 2 days... shes taking off from flordia and going to the bahamams or something. idk .. but so lucky!!!

& having a laptop is so convenient. haha love it so much. kay time to studyyyyyyy!

tiff ^^ 琪琪 ☆ 说:
tat her???
jessey 说:
yeahhh
tiff ^^ 琪琪 ☆ 说:
wtf..>.<; she mad ugly tiff ^^ 琪琪 ☆ 说:
ur 1000x cuter
tiff ^^ 琪琪 ☆ 说:
she look so nasty
jessey 说:
LOL wtf so mean
tiff ^^ 琪琪 ☆ 说:
its tru..show me him
jessey 说:
myspace.com/_jawn
tiff ^^ 琪琪 ☆ 说:
cant really see
jessey 说:
loll yeah, i dlted his pics
jessey 说:
哈哈...i think tai hun shui.. - -
tiff ^^ 琪琪 ☆ 说:
remind me of di's friend, tony. remember?
jessey 说:
yeah, hes like one of those guys
tiff ^^ 琪琪 ☆ 说:
you stil have me baybee<3 style="font-weight: bold;">jessey 说:
hahaha awww, but you have your laogong :[
jessey 说:
wahhhh.. FOREVER ALONEEEE
tiff ^^ 琪琪 ☆ 说:
>.< 他很态..
jessey 说:
LOL ewww ROFL!

LOL hahaha love my 无聊 bb. (: so sleepy & tiredddddddd but waiting for hair to dry so gonna watch law & order in bed on this new laptoppp ~

So cold and windy and rainy!! -.- sitting in library waiting for bb & her laogong to go eat at teashopp. Sighh ~!! :[

Ugh want summer & hot weather. hate this - - gonna go home later & cuddle up with fifi & make some hot coco, ^^~
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