When I don't get what I want..I get angry. I get frustrated & I would do everything...anything to get it.

That's my biggest downfall. Some things that don't belong to me..I should let it go but I can't. I won't. And in the end even tho I got it..I end losing people that cares about me..
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Lmao. Yeah, that's why I'm so scared of getting attached. Cus I'm ALWAYS finding out shit about you from other people.

First it was those damn pics & now this. Uh okay.. -___- can't believe I've been so fking stupid. Fk that shit.

Just when we're finally starting to get really close & things are finally falling into place. God ...
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Its kind of weird to get hit on by the girl I'm tutoring ~,~

I mean she looks & dresses like a tomboy...stars at my boobies way to much ...

& now...she's flirting with me.....commenting on how my clumsiness is cute..

& well its not & it makes me feel weird. Even tho girl on girl action is hot...its safe to say that I'm perfectly straight.
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from my back shoulder going towards back of my neck.

INFINITY SIGN on side of my left middle finger.

& undecided white ink tattoo on my wrist. probably a bread or phrase.

I CAN'T WAIT! APPOINTMENT'S SCHEDULED ON THE 16TH OF JUNE. omgawd<3 so excited. i want that dandelion & dove tattoo so badly & plus the infinity sign .. eeeeeeeek! so excited :)

Omg dying~ just did HIIT 30.
But so addicted to working out haha idk why but I love waking up & feeling my body ache ..its a goooood ache tho haha
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Ughhhh I knew you were a player & shit & at first I wasn't even serious. But then we started spending so much time together & somehow I ended up falling for you.
Honestly you turned out to be so different then I thought you'd be but now I'm hearing all these stuff & idk wut to think. Maybe we've been going too fast & a little break would be good. Idk ugh :( I just don't want to get hurt~

Sigh...

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Breakfast:
1 packet of oatmeal (100 cal 4g protein), 2 egg whites (34 cal 10g protein) with sugar free syrup (15 cal)

Total: 149 calories

Snack:
1 cup of strawberries (40 cal), 2 servings of Sugar free Jello (20 cal) 2 servings of Fat Free Reddi Whip (10 cal)

Total: 70 calories

Lunch:
2 slices of Sara Lee Honey Wheat bread (90 calories) 4 slices of turkey (45 calories 11g Protein) Mustard (0 cal) Lettuce (3 cal) Tomato Slice (4 cal) Medium Apple (80 cal) Chobani Yogurt Plain (100 Cal 18g Protein)

Total: 322 calories

Snack:
Special K bar (90 cal)

Dinner:
Ocean Lemon Peppered Tilapia (Single Serving Packet 100 calories 25g Protein) 1 cup of California Blend Vegetables steamed. (35 calories)

Total: 135

Daily Total: 676 Calories

meal plan for tomorrow.. eek still trying to cut more, but oh wells.

Ughh, today I binge. Swear its the last time.
Goodness I have more self control than this! -______-"

& I miss him :( gosh its only been a day since I last saw him...& what 2 hrs since we've last talked but fkkk I miss him. This is so bad argh.

Anyway starting monday...gonna eat 450 calorie a day...I know its not really healthy but its almost summer!!
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i don't know weather to laugh or cry.
getting into cornell's vet school has always been a dream of mine but i know with my past history it's really unlikely for me to get in.
i mean vet school is hard enough to get into but cornell only takes 20% of it's applicants.
but miraculously i have been given the chance to have my dream come true.
the coming years are going to be crucial for me .. and i'm ready to take on whatever that is going to be thrown my way no matter how much hardship i have to endure.

but all of this.. cause of my mom and her connections and also those are who willing to give me a chance to prove myself.
and i'm going give it my all and push myself to my fullest potential.

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Just got home..running on five hours of sleep & been outside for 15 hrs...DEAD.

Well went to repierce my holes....right ear~ still need to repierce tragus & double cartilage on left...

en en lah~
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Finally finished all my hw - -"

Went to watch fast five w/ myy boys today...lmao that sounded gay haha. But me, david, ralph& jonathan got out of class early & chilled for a bit.

then went to eat w/ babe after he got out of work at mexican radio~
Its nice having someone to cuddle with :) & really nice to have someone give you little butterfly kisses haha

he drove me home afterward cus I had a shit load of work due tmr. I like how he takes me home everyday even tho he lives all the way in chinatown..but ughh that creepy guy..my stalker..sigh - -"

Saw him the other day & he just kept staring at me..geez but well my dad is saying how he's gonna assign a personal drive to me to take me to & from school. Uhhh no thanks..gosh ~
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:)

-babeee came back from upstate early, so we FINALLY got to spend some time together haha

-went back to my place for a bit but we got bored & ended up going to seaport.

-he wanted me to dress up for him but stupid jerk kept fking up my hair & then made fun of me when my hair was sticking up - -"

but he ended up making up to me by surprising me with this cute rilakkuma doll thingy<3; its so cuteeeee

Sighhhhhhhhhhhs, I'm falling so effing hard..he makes me smile & giggle so damn much..geez.

Oh & plus I have a hugee hickey on my neck .. told him to stop but just made it worse & I can't even hide it cus my hair is short....sigh~
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