I'm sitting here sick to my stomach just thinking about everything. I'm tired of writing about how I feel in hopes that you might read these and care enough to pick up your phone and just call me to see how I am.

I'm tired of everything. I hate being such a emo bitch. But I just want to be able to breathe again.

How can you just do this? I know what I did was wrong and I made it worse by lying to you, but you just choose to shut me out and that just makes me sick to my stomach. I knew I never meant much to you, but after all that we've been through you just don't want to hear it.

And what hurts the most is that knowing you're just fine while this is really killing me. Every day it just gets worse and worse for me and I have no idea how to go on anymore. I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU. Do you get it? I don't want you back, but it's the fact that I need some closure from you.

Why can't you give me that? Why do you just chose to ignore me and pretend that I don't exist. What do you gain from that anyways? Every day I feel like I'm dying more and more and I don't know what to do.

Can't you see that you're the one to fix this cause I want to live. I want to get on with my life and only YOU can help me with that..

And even if I am the last person you wish to speak to, you can't just do this to me....... What am I supposed to do? How can I live like this?