baby;

baby;

I woke up this morning to find outside covered with snow and guess what? I thought of you again.

I missed you today and wish that I could spend New Years Eve with you. It hurts thinking that even though we're together, we're not really "together". I don't like the distance that's between us and I hate thinking that I can't be with you physically.

But that's the way things are and there is no way to change that, so I'll just have to deal with it. And even though it's hard I'll try not to complain too much.

It's almost midnight and I can't have you here to kiss, but it's okay!

And I plan to full fill my New Year's resolution and look forward to spending the new year with you in my life.

irony

For the first time in four years I didn't go ice skating on New Years Eve because two of my closet friends are not in New York. It made me feel all out of place and I didn't like it, but what is there to do?

So I ended up going to the movies with Evey and her cousin who tagged along. We watched the stupid Chipmunks movie because we couldn't agree on any other movie, but that's okay. I didn't really mind that much.

We've never really been that close and it was even more awkward with her cousin there. I didn't know what to say and they had their own conversations which made me feel kind of left out. I hate these moments where I don't know what to say to the other person, but whatever.

Afterward we went to Sentosa and it got a little better. There were so many stuff I wanted to ask Evey about and there was a lot to catch up on but since her cousin there I didn't really feel like talking. Haha, to be honest it was boring.. I didn't know what to say to them and I got a little pissed thinking why did she even invite me when she had her cousin there.

But it's okay, it wasn't that bad but it defiantly wasn't how I wanted to spend my New Years Eve.

I wasn't really in any mood for any celebration so I ended up going home even though I promised I would show up at Flushing Mall for the party. But I ran into Steven when I was walking home and he convinced me to stay for a little bit and I just felt so .. out of place! I don't even know how to explain it but I guess today just wasn't a good day.

-____________-; I just wish things were different.

babyy;

baby;

to-do list;

So the new year is coming up and I seriously need to fix my life. T_________T . & get some stuff done. Short term list;

• Go to B&N and find some things to buy before gift card expires.
• Find out when break ends and when school starts.
• Ask Peter for work out tips and meal plans.
• Email all my teachers and make up work.
• Talk to FA before school starts.
• Call or go to LaGuarida and ask about their Vet Tech program.
• Tell daddy I owe school $5,000.
• Take Peter's advice & go see a doctor.
  
• Find itouch.
• Stop eating/ordering take-out.
• Find a job!
  

stupid.

So I went to dye and fix my ugly hair today ; its better now, and I bumped into Alicia on Main. It felt nice catching up with an old friend since I haven't seen her in awhile and she dragged me to CEO.

I felt a little weird being around everyone without laopo there, but it okay. I expected it to be worse but I had fun and it was nice catching up with everyone. Honestly I've been avoiding most of my friends ever since lp left and I really didn't think I would have a good time. Even though things may feel a bit different now, but it's still nice knowing that I still have friends out there that cares.

So I took Peter's advice and drank. -_____-; It was supposed to make me feel better but I felt worse afterward. Maybe it was because I haven't eaten anything at all beforehand, but I have never felt this bad after drinking. I wanted to throw up even though all I had was like one bottle to drink. Ugh.

I ended up leaving early cause I didn't feel really good so Steven ended up walking me home. I have never been drunk before no matter how much I drank but today I felt really bad afterward. On the way home, I felt really tipsy and ended up slipping on ice, falling on my heel and got Steven all worried.

But I'm fine and today was okay. At least my hair looks so much better and I really like the color; it's not too bright or dark. And last but not least, I don't think I'll be drinking again anytime soon in the near future.

baby;

baby;

I like this funny little game we play :) .

new year's resolutions

Wow, this year passed by pretty fast.

So today marks the one year that Fifi's been with us. WOW. I still can't believe that it's already been one year since I laid my eyes on his cute little self. I lovelovelove him so much and sometimes I wonder how such a little thing can take such a big place in my heart.

I remember waking up one day and I saw him poking his little button nose around sniffing everything in sight, and I thought .. "WOW, this is really happening." I'm so glad that he came into my life and I just love him so much that sometimes it breaks my hearts a little knowing that I can't get him the best things. But I love him & I know he loves me too, so it's okay.

Remember that night when we were separated? I still can't help but tear up everytime I think of that night. I remember going home and all I could do was cry and knowing that you were so close and yet so far out of my reach broke my heart. I'm sorry for leaving you baby, and I promise it won't happen it ever again. I swear.

And remember that time when I had to give you away and even though we were apart for a few hours, I can still remember seeing the tears fall out of your eyes. I wanted to go back to you and hug you and never let you go but I know that I couldn't because it was the best for you.

This year has gone by so far but some of my best memories are shared with you. I love you.

It seems so silly writing this to my DOG; but I just love my baby FiFi sosososo much.

So ..

New Year's is coming up and I hope that 2010 will be a great year and maybe I can finally settle some things and make it right again.

So my New Year's resolution?

• Stay in School!
• Work out & gain abs<3
• and last but not least ; be a good girlfriend cause I love my baby.

it's hard.

You asked for affection and I guess I never really thought about it but somewhere along the line, your just a boy looking to be loved.

I hold myself back.. keeping things to myself and away from you because to be completely honest, I'm so scared to put my whole heart out there. Do you know that there are so many things that I want to tell, especially how you made me feel this past month.

But I'm so fucking scared and I hate feeling this way. I know I shouldn't and I want to stop so badly but it's hard because my mind keeps drifting there. You've made me so happy this past month and its been amazing spending all these time with you. I don't think I've ever felt like this before and that's scary for me to deal with.

Writing this makes me feel better because I know that there might be a possibility you will read this and understand what's going on.

I'm sorry I hestiated this morning when you asked me that question .. to be honest I was expecting it but when the moment came I froze up. I don't know why that happened and I'm so sorry that put you off.

In the end, I'm really happy that we're officially a couple now. I know that there will be a lot of bumpy roads ahead, but I hope we can make it through them. I hope that this will be a long lasting relationship and no matter what I think I'll always love you.

You'll always have a special place in my heart.

PS: I promise that I will be a good girlfriend and I'll try very hard to open up myself to you, showing you all the love and affection that you deserve.

comparison

I shouldn't compare myself to others and I thought I learned long time ago that there will always be someone who is smarter, prettier, funnier, etc, etc, than me.

So why do I still do it? I don't have the answer to that. . Lately I can't stop comparing myself to her. I guess it's because I want to know why you loved her and live up to that image. I want to know how you two managed to last so long and I want that to be us.

Bleh..maybe I worry tootoo much.

I don't know what I'm saying and my thoughts are sort of jumbled together right now.

PS: So it's Christmas .. and Santa didn't grant me my wish. ): Haha.

truth

The truth is that I can't help but wonder what a guy like you is doing with a girl like me. In my eyes, I think you're the definition of perfect and I know that no one is perfect but to me you are. You say the right things, know exactly what to do to melt my heart.. although sometimes I feel that it may be some sort of act. I don't know.
.................

the sweetest things;

You do the sweetest things for me sometimes and I can't help but wonder what did I ever do to deserve you.

Thank you for making me laugh when I'm scared; you know exactly what to say to make me feel better.

Thank you for worrying about me and reminding me to stay safe and warm when I'm about to go out and brace the cold.

Thank you for waking up early just so you can wake me up for school when I know you would rather much sleep in.

Thank you for staying on the phone with me when I have fallen asleep and you're still wide awake.

Thank you for calling me every morning just to say "Good morning sunshine". You really do put me in a better mood with those wake up calls.

Thank you for whispering to me little sweet things during our 9;00 am phone calls, and even though I don't remember much of what you said, I still know.

Thank you , thank you , thank you for being so sweet to me.

i think, i think, i think..

I’m fallin’ for you

Maybe I should
Keep this to myself
Waiting ’til I
Know you better
I am trying
Not to tell you
But I want to
I’m scared of what you’ll say
So I’m hiding what I’m feeling
Oh I just can’t take it
My heart is racing
The emotions keep spilling out

Dear Santa,

I know I haven't been a good girl this year, but there is something I really want for Christmas. Won't you help me grant this little wish, Santa? I promise I won't ask for anything else ever again and I promise I'll be good.

xoxo,
J.

Haha. All I want for Christmas is you;
<3

untitled.

Christmas.Christmas.Christmas.

It doesn't really feel like it's almost Christmas for me. Maybe it's cause your not here lp and I miss you so much. It doesn't feel right doing some of the things without you and I wish you were here.

I fucking miss you so much, lp.

i can't find it.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I looked everywhere and still no fucking iPod. I swear I am going crazy looking for that thing. Where the hell can it be at?!? -________________________________-;

Fuck, I can't live without it. . .

it's snowing again ;

在見到你關鍵的第一秒
愛的情愫開始發酵
小心翼翼寫給你的紙條
幸福劃上心型記號
你像一座孤傲的島，有自己的城堡
我是上不了岸的潮，也只能將你圍繞
全世界的人都知道，一廂情願是種煩惱
只要換你一次微笑，就算是作夢也會笑
全世界的人不知道，我不在乎付出多少
我想這就是幸福寫照，任何人不能阻止我對你的好

For some reason I really love snowy days. I love watching the fat snowdrops fall and stick on the ground below. It gives me a peaceful feeling inside and soothes me.

I wish it would snow everyday.

apology.

I probably came off as pretty selfish because I haven't been thinking about your feelings. All I cared about was not getting hurt myself that I didn't even once stop and consider that I may actually hurt you. It takes two to make a relationship work and all I've been focusing on is myself. Wow, thinking about it now I realize how self-centered I've been. I'm sorry and I hope you can find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me.

talking to linh makes me feel better;

Thanks; I needed that.
he should just appreciate that u even had the nerve to show him that blog. u didnt had to. but im sure that blog meant a lot to u in order for you to show it to him. he'll understand you more after. at least in a better way. of what you've been thinking and feeling all these times

Do I regret showing this to you? Yeah, a little. A whole lot.

I have never done anything like this before and to be honest its a little nerve wrecking. I'm sorry if I scared you away with all this and I can't say that I blame you. It wasn't my intention for you to find all this out ; all my feelings and thoughts during these past few weeks. They were private and I wanted to keep them that way.

Sometimes I wish I knew what you were thinking and then maybe this wouldn't be so hard. Why is it that when it comes to you, my feelings are always jumbled around. .

no title.

I realized something this morning; I don't have any pictures of you and I hate to think that someday I might not even remember how you look like. And worst of all I hate to think that I would lose all of our memories one day.

I want to say thank you for being there for me throughout the years. Even though we haven't spoken to each other in a long time, you'll always be in my thoughts no matter what.

Nabu, de va chi. Nu de va chi non gan da ye ma. A le, yi te wa da zhe gee me ah.

So I don't know how I even mange to fall asleep last night, but I did. I thought about all the things that happened lately and waking up this morning I did not feel any better. In fact I felt worse , but I guess it'll pass. It always does .. doesn't it?

是我想太多 .

iil0veyuux33 4:02 am
erikaaaa?
Whitelove123 4:02 am
yes
iil0veyuux33 4:02 am
its 4am..
Whitelove123 4:02 am
wow
yeah

It's been years, but you still know how to make me laugh.

It's funny how we turned out to be.. you with your high academic grades and schools while there's me. Sometimes I wish I can turn back the clock and go back in time. Maybe things would've been different if I actually tried harder and not messed up so much.

I missed you. I'm sorry for not coming clean with you earlier but you know me and how I'm like.

Intuition

Sometimes I don't even fucking know what is up with you. Hot&Cold <- you're like that. Should I believe everything you've told me today? Hmm. I don't know.. and I thought yesterday was a bad day. Today's been even worse.

Have the two started talking again? I don't know but somehow it seems like it. And I have this funny feeling that you two are ... call it intuition or whatever.

I also have a feeling that tomorrow is just going to be a repeat of today. You're probably going to come up with some excuse not to call me and I don't know why but for some reason I feel that the other night might have been our last night together.

It hurts... it really does. I don't know what to do anymore.

If you're going to play around with my feelings like that then you shouldn't have wasted either one of our times.

But then again maybe you are telling the truth, but I don't know. Why is it that when it comes to you, my feelings are always jumbled around. I don't know what is with you and me.

Dedicated

风轻轻 我听见你声音 你对着我叮咛 要注意自己的心情
As the wind blows gently, I heard your voice. U constantly remind me to take note of my behavior
雨轻轻 我听见你声音 你拿着伞靠近 为我遮着风挡着雨
As the rain pours down, I heard your voice. Holding a umbrella, U walk towards me and protected me from rain and wind
一点点想哭泣一点点想着你 你的爱很珍惜 我总依赖着你的记忆
I felt like crying while thinking of you. I'm thankful for your love that allow me to be dependent on you
你就像风在说话 顺着我方向
U're the wind blowing towards me
你就像海中的波浪 堆着我成长
U're the sea waves allowing me to grow up
我明白你的回答 温柔的对话
I understand what you said in our little conversation
爱情其实没有办法 不被感动吧 我不说谎
I'm not lying about love is touching, right?

I miss you. There are no other words to describe how I'm feeling today because you've been on my mind all day. I know I shouldn't feel like this and I know that it's only been one day but I'm fucking missing you like crazy. Are you thinking of me too?

PS: I wish tomorrow would come faster because I get to talk to you and maybe then everything will feel like normal again.

ain't nobody but you i'm thinking of.

I fell asleep without you there last night for the first time in weeks. It was weird being in bed without hearing your voice and I just missed you so much.

I miss your 9:00am morning calls where you would whisper me sweet little things that I wouldn't remember when I fully wake up. I miss hearing your groggily voice as you coo me to sleep late at night.

I know it's only for two days but I'm so used to talking to you every night so I guess I just feel a little lonely.

One down, one more to go.

Discontent ;

your word, not mine.

I feel sluggish today and feel that something is very obviously wrong even though it isn't. Weird feeling in the bottom of my stomach. Maybe it'll be sorted out later but I don't know.

I'm trying very hard not to doubt you so I'm not even going to go on and on about it.

So..

Hi. I don't feel good today.

I love YOU.

You were right when you said that it went in one ear and went out in the other. It still hasn't settled into my brain yet, that you love me and not her. But I'm getting used to the idea and I guess we can go forward from here.

I don't want to think negatively about our relationship because what you said was true. If I start thinking that way it might actually happen. I'm naturally an optimistic person but when it comes to you my thoughts always drift to the negative aspects.

I'm sorry for hurting you and most of all, I'm sorry for ever doubting you. I've just been going on and on about not wanting to get hurt and isn't it ironic that I was the one to hurt you. I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me because you mean everything to me.

I'm not emotionally ready but I'm getting there; I hope you can understand why I'm feeling this way.

You have no idea how much I love you. Every time I say these words my heart expands and it hurts, but in a good way. I can honestly say that I never felt this way about anyone else and what I'm getting at is that this is real to me.

I love you, you you you you.
JR.

PS: Every thing you said to me last night is still fresh on my mind. Those words meant a lot to me and even though I can't tell you straight up, I want you to know that every little thing meant a lot to me. I love you. I'm in love with you.

things I can't say;

Can you be honest with me right now? Friend to friend.

Just what exactly are you doing with me? You have a girl out there who loves you and is willing to do anything for you. You two were obviously meant for each other, so why are you with me?

I'm willing to let you go even though I'll get hurt and my heart may break a little but I know that I'll get over it. Because I'm afraid that I might get into deep and that's when I truly can't let you go.

over reactions.

I don't even know where to start. Maybe I'm overreacting, maybe I'm not. I don't know.

I love you, I really do. Even though you may say you love me, I know that deep down you don't mean it. I don't want to get hurt, so please lets just stop now before I get in too deep because I know my heart can't handle that.

I hope you can understand me when I say that I'm not the type of girl to come out with my feelings. I can't confront you because I don't know what you might say even though I know it well make things better. I like hiding my feelings behind a false facade and sometimes even pretend nothing is wrong.

But I don't think I can do that now. I can't because it is going to end up hurting me.

Maybe I should just be the better person and let you go. I'm letting my stupid silly heart get the better of me. . .

I truly don't know if you're playing around with my feelings or not. I believed you when you said all that to me last night. However there is still a part of me that can't help but be dubious. . .

And then there is the other girls. I get jealous. That's how I am and even though I might not show it, I get so jealous sometimes. Especially of you and her. I know that you two are very close and after all you've been best friends for more than a year now.

I'm not trying to change that and I'm not saying don't talk to her. What I'm trying to say is do I really want to get into all of this? Do I want to put myself through all of this? Because I know there are bound to be problems. And I know how hard she is trying to win you back.

So will I be another one of your numerous girls?

愛很怪

It's not in my place to be jealous, but I can't help it when she's around. You've told me over and over again that you two are just friends, however I still get the feeling that there is so much more.

I wish the two of us were that close; like you and her, then maybe I'll feel a little better. But relationship takes time to build and I hope one day we can be like that. Right now I just feel so weird when she's around.

It feels like it's the 3 of us in this relationship instead of me&you. I'm not saying I don't want you to not talk to her or anything. Right now I just don't know if I want to get into this because I know that I'm going to get my heart broken in the long run. I just don't know if I'm ready for this.

The L Word.

I remember hearing the silence after telling you that story and how you couldn't stop sighing afterward. I asked what was wrong and you finally let it out... you said that you were jealous and wished that you were him.

I believed you and I heard the sincerity in your voice. I'm not going to doubt you on that but I'm not sure if you meant everything else you said.

"I love you and wish you were my girlfriend." Can I believe that? Should I believe that? A little part of me just can't help but wonder just exactly how many girls you've told that to.

And when you poured your heart to me, I felt so special at that moment. My heart was aching and I don't believe I actually felt that way before. You were right, sometimes it does feel too good to be true.

Even if you don't mean it.. I know that when I said the L word last night, it was truly from the bottom of my heart.

J&J, right?

Complications

Why do things have to be so complicated sometimes? I just want things to be plain and simple. I like you and you obviously have feelings for me. Lets move on from there.

But there is just so much things to consider, especially her.

And then there is me..

Do I really want to get myself into all of that? I don't .. but it's too late now because I'm beginning to fall so hard for you. And I can't help but feel my heart is breaking already. I don't want to give you up, but I can't deal with everything.

I wish things were simple. But it's not, so where do I go from here, now?

Hunger Pains

I used to think it was the end of the world, if I didn't eat anything when I got hunger. I absolutely could not stand the sound of my stomach rumbling! I hated the emptiness my stomach felt and my mouth watered instantly when I thought about food.

No I'm not fat or anything, but I just liked to eat a lot.

But lately that's changed. I no longer have food cravings and I find that I can actually mange without eating if I got hungry. I don't think it's a good or bad thing. Just that I am getting control over my food intake. I don't want to over eat anymore..

Bleh. .. .

Closure

I realized long time ago that I can never replace her for you. But today it finally hit me just how close you two are and that no matter what your friendship cannot be broken. Not that I'm saying I want it to be over.

What I'm trying to say is that I want to to be the one you can depend on. I want to know you.

Ugh. I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW ANYMORE.

I'm not your girlfriend or your best friend. And that hurts because I want to be part of your life somehow.

Fuckit.Fuckit.Fuckit.

-______________________________-

What I need right now is some closure.

Yawnings, Yearnings.

Today has been thus far a good day. I woke up to your voice in my ears, reminding me that it was time to get ready. I liked that a lot. Knowing that you woke up early just so you can make sure I won't be late for school.

I didn't get to take my nap today, and I feel so sluggish. Can't even stop yawning! What is wrong with me? Been feeling so tired lately... Time for a doctors checkup I think.

Well, it's movie time ! We're going to watch something :)

these little things i'll never forget

I love falling asleep with you at night and waking up to the sound of your voice in the morning. It's in those moments that I feel like I can truly be myself with you. There's so many things I want to tell you but I'm holding it back afraid that you'll take it the wrong way or not feel the same way.

To be honest I'm tried of being scared and not being honest with my feelings or myself. The truth is that I'm falling for you. Plain and simple. I can't deny that and I won't deny what I'm feeling in my heart.

"I love you. I mean it." You whispered that softly last night, and I almost didn't catch it. But I did and I don't know if you meant it. Probably not. I don't know. But please don't say these things if you don't mean it because I take it to heart. Don't lead me on please I can't handle that.

But still, I want to say thank you for making me feel this way.

boys.

Boys will always be boys, right?

Well, I guess I should be happy that you're spending all this time with me, but I'm not. Why? Because it's all for the wrong reasons. You only want one thing from me and I know unlike the many other girls I seem to give it willing. No promises. No nothing.

But really I can't help it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope you like me for me and now the other stuff that we do.

And for the record, we're not even boyfriend&girlfriend yet. Maybe I should just tell you straight out that I want a relationship and not someone to hook up with.

We belong together<3

Boy I'm ready for your love
You got me going steady for your love
Nobody but you I'm thinking of
So heavenly so obvious
Ooh baby I'm so ready for your love
You got me going steady for your love
Ain't nobody but you I'm thinking of
That's only because we belong together.

Last night was fun ;)

& more thoughts

I have to admit that you're quite good at this. No it wasn't my first time, but it's never been like this before. You knew exactly what to say and knew exactly what to do. But I couldn't help wonder just how many girls there been before me. I mean, you sure are an expert with this!

Just got me making and I'm wondering who you were thinking of when you were moaning my name and whispering those sweet things, last night. Was it me or was it her?

Yeah, I'm very dubious with it comes to you. I guess it's because you're too good with your words. Does that make sense? Haha.

Last night I felt really secure talking to you. I couldn't come out and admit but everything felt so right and when I heard your laugh, I felt nothing could ever go wrong because you were there. I don't know why, but last night..it just felt so right. Perfect. Really, no words can explain.

Maybe one day, I'll tell you how I truly feel. But right now, I'm still too scared that you're going to break my heart.

thoughts;

It's snowing and I don't know why but I thought of you.

I couldn't help but press my nose up against the window and watched the snowdrops fall. It's only 4:00 pm, but outside, the city is already dark. It's such a sight, and I wish you were here to share it with me.

Wo hao xiang ni.

confused ;

I don't get any of it. You would spent the night with her, and then come to me afterward and fall asleep with me.

What the fuck. -_______________________-;

Do you enjoy doing this? Because I don't and I defiantly don't like being the other girl. Fuck, I just wish you can be honest with me sometimes. . .

4:40 am ;

You were the exact type of boy that everyone warned me about..

If I don't put this down right now, I don't think I can ever again explain these feelings..

So it's 4:35am.. You said we were going to watch that movie tonight. You said you were going to tell me more bedtime stories tonight. And you said you would be here with me when I fell asleep tonight.

Those things didn't happen because you are with her. I just don't understand any of it, I wish I did though. Maybe then, the pain and anguish that I'm feeling now would go away.

Can you please explain to me why you had to come over and talk to me that day. You were with her back then, and I knew that. I didn't take it to heart, but as the days passed by and as we grew closer, I became to really fall for you.

I really don't want to, but how can I help it? You said all the right things and you made all my days go by worth while.

But then there is her.. I know you two are extremely close and I can never be a replacement of her and nor do I want to. I don't know how you two feel about each other but I know that you two have a deep connection and will always be.

I just wish I knew and I wish you would explain it to me. I wish you can just tell me the truth sometimes. And I don't like being lied to like I am right now.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I won't cry. Not for you.

Day 2 of Promises kept.

I'm not a good writer and I will never be.

There are truly no words to describe how you made me feel these past two days. You stayed with me until I feel asleep and your voice was the first thing I heard in the mornings.

I really liked that. I liked that you were the last person I thought about before I slept and the first one on my mind in the morning.

As corny as this sounds, you made me feel safe and protected, as if nothing could ever go wrong.

No more;

No more holding back.

Fuck it, I don't care anymore. I want to be with you, simple as that. I don't care if you're going to end up hurting me. I don't care if you're not 100% serious with me.

I know I deserve better, but I'm going to give it my all. Because life is an adventure and I don't want to spent every single minute worrying. I want to live and I'm going to start by being with you.

Head over Heels

Promises made: too many to count.
Promises kept: 1
Promises broken: 0

I didn't believe you when you promised me, you would always be here for me no matter what. I didn't believe you when you promised me, everything was going to be alright and cooed me to sleep. And I still didn't believe you when you promised me, that you were going to be right there when I woke up.

But you surprised me this morning and kept your promise. It's a start, and I believe you ... for now.

Wishes ;

I wish you wouldn't lie to me.
I wish you would say those things & actually mean it.
I wish you would keep those promises.
I wish I wasn't falling so hard for you.
I wish that you would find some truth in those lies you told.
I wish I could believe you.
I wish you mean every single thing that you've told me.
I wish you would just love me.

Silly girl, when are you going give up?

What did I expect, really? I knew what kind of person you were before we even began talking. I'm not blind nor am I stupid, but I am a silly girl. I should've listened, but I choose to ignore and decided to follow with my foolish heart.

I vowed that I wouldn't get too close and that I wouldn't fully open myself up. But your sweet little words got to me, and still makes my heart tingle even when I think about them now. I told you exactly how I felt, and actually believed that you wouldn't deceit our trust.

I don't know what to believe anymore and I can't tell between your lies and the truth (if there are even any).

Feelings change, and maybe one day I will wake up and realize that your only intention was to play around with my feelings. But for now I'll choose to believe in everything you've told me... if only for this little bit of time.